Ask and ye shall receive?

Remember my last post when I whining about being single?

I think my luck is about to change.

I received the following email from a young gent on OKCupid last week: (edited to protect his personal info)

Hello !

I read your profile carefully , it is interesting really.
You are an attractive woman , i like your hair . [Aw…]
I value highly that you are into traveling , i have been in many countries : Dubai , Abu Dhabi , Saudi Arabia , Oman , Lebanon and Jordan .

I would like to know you better … i am tired of the aimless women .

You look for a single guy between ( 30_40 ) year old anywhere [What? I’m casting a wide net], that encouraged me to message you , As to me the long distance between us is not a dealbreaker. [Can I interject here and say how awesome it is that a dude for whom English is clearly not his first language can bust out with a term like ‘dealbreaker’?]

I do not drink alcohol or smoke , you drink socially , it is very okay . [I’m glad you think so.]

I am willing to give you love , warmth , respect and understanding , if you give me that back .

I suggest to know each other slowly , thereafter we can decide if we have to meet in person.

Regards

———

Sounds good to me! Where do I sign? Oh, did I forget to mention that this young man happens to live in Aleppo? No, not Aleppo, Pennsylvania. The other one. You know, the one in Syria?

Naturally the first guy in years who wants to give me love, warmth, respect and understanding would live in a war zone.

Still though, unconditional love (even if it is from a total stranger) is not without it’s appeal.

This guy took the time to email me so I figure I should at least give his offer due consideration, right? I think so too. Let’s make a pro/con list! (I so love list-making…)

Pros: Cons:
I wouldn’t have to be single anymore. I’d probably have to move Syria which would be a hassle because all my stuff is here.
It never snows in Syria. I kind of like the snow.
I wouldn’t have to wear embarrassing spf-laden sun protective clothing to cover my melanin-deficiient alabaster skin because I’d get to rock a sweet-ass burqa. Syria banned the burqa.
I’d never have to go to a wedding by myself ever again. I’d also probably never be allowed to leave the house by myself ever again.
I’d have a sober, spiritually grounded partner. I’d have to start drinking for two and I don’t know if I can handle that much alcohol.
His online dating profile didn’t say very much and did not include a photo so I’d get to be surprised! I hate surprises.
I don’t mind long distance relationships. Plus, I’d get to travel to a part of the world I’ve never visited before and I do love to travel… …though there is a strong possibility that I could be killed by a drone strike or chemical weapons attack.

So it’s basically a wash.

I’m gonna play it safe and give him a soft ‘maybe.’ See where things go from there.

Wish me luck!!!

Update: It seems my future husband has removed his OKCupid profile. I’m guessing he found a more decisive total stranger with pretty hair who was willing to move to Syria for him…or he found himself on the wrong side of a sarin gas attack. Either way, it looks like our relationship is on hold for now. Men are so fickle!

Update to the update: Please do not misconstrue my glib tone as callousness for the plight of the Syrian people. I did not make this up in an effort to write a topical blog post. I don’t ever want to get too political up in here (up in here.) I feel it would detract from the frivolity. This was a real email that I received last Thursday and he really did remove his profile several days after that.

Does anyone else think it’s kind of awesome that even though their country is in such turmoil right now, there are probably tons of other young Syrians out there who are dealing with normal, everyday problems like trying to get a date? I don’t know. It made me feel better about the world for a minute.

In any case, I obviously wish this guy nothing but the best and I really do hope he took his profile down because he met someone awesome and not because his life has been turned upside down by the horrors of war.

Peace,

Sarah

2 thoughts on “Ask and ye shall receive?

  1. OK, we both know my sense of humor is completely off kilter, but this made me laugh out loud again and again. And I just got out of work and I’m practically brain dead. You’ll have to forgive me if all my red flags went up before I got to your pros and cons. So funny!

  2. Nice Sarah, the finish is a little like the way Don Rickles would end a set. A little “I love everybody no matter who they are” song and dance. I say Own your inner Lisa Lamponelli.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s