Maybe I shouldn’t be allowed to go shopping by myself…

A month or so ago I was killing time before meeting a friend for dinner in NYC and I stopped into my local H&M clothing store. I tried on a few things, and like pretty much every time I go into an H&M, I bought a few things.

This was one of them…

preggers shirt

I’m always a fan of comfy knit tops – they travel well and they’re the perfect attire for an opera staging rehearsal – especially when they’re on clearance for five dollars. (In general, I have a really hard time not buying things when they’re only five dollars.) I didn’t have time to try it on, but I shop there a lot (a vast majority of my wardrobe is from H&M) so I’m usually a pretty good judge of whether or not something is going to fit.

Anyway, I put it on this morning and noticed that it hangs a little lower in the front than in the back. It was a little weird, but whatevs. Asymmetrical stuff is super trendy, right?

I wore it around the house for a few hours and kept pulling it down in the back. It was driving me crazy. So I thought, duh, flip the script and turn that shit around. So I tried it on backwards to see if it looked better that way. It didn’t. But it did draw my attention to something that I definitely hadn’t noticed in the store…


Um…what? H&M MAMA? I didn’t even know H&M had a maternity line. Though I suppose I shouldn’t be that surprised. They have everything else.

I took a closer look and noticed that there were these weird pleats on the front of the shirt at the bottom and around the boob area. I don’t know how I missed it. In my defense, I wasn’t wearing my glasses at the time, but I honestly don’t think that had anything to do with it.

Just for giggles, I thought I’d try to simulate how the shirt is supposed to look…

preggers 1

Preggers 2

Oddly, this isn’t the first time I’ve posted fake preggers pictures of myself on this blog. I’m not sure what that says about me and I’m fine with that.

One thing is for sure, I probably shouldn’t be allowed to go shopping on my own ever again.  Also, I will definitely be posting a fake online dating account and using one of these bad boys as my profile photo because that can only end in hilarity. Or creepy pregnancy fetish types.  Either way.  I’ll let you know.



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