It’s home improvement Saturday here in Harlem so…without any knowledge or prior experience to speak of, I decided to re-caulk my bathtub. I can only imagine that I will be wildly successful.
I went to the local hardware store and purchased some caulk and a caulking gun (hello) from a lovely Hispanic woman who didn’t speak a word of English. Our exchange went something like this:
Me: Hi, I need some caulk for my bathtub.
Her: ¿Habla Español?
I rummaged in my pocket for a second, pulled out my iPhone and showed her a picture of what I was looking for.
Her: Ah! Ok.
She led me to the back of the store towards the caulk shelf.
Her: (gesturing) Blanco…?
I nodded. Thankfully my bathtub is white, though I probably would have bought it anyway.
When I got home, I googled ‘re-caulk bathtub’ just to get a basic idea of what I was supposed to do with this shit. I discovered, much to my chagrin, that apparently you’re supposed to remove all of the old caulk first with ‘caulk softener.’ I kid you not.
Back to the hardware store I went. This time there was an old guy in there.
Me: Excuse me, I need some caulk softener…?
Him: *blank stare*
I walked over to the caulk shelf and picked up a tube.
Me: Caulk remover?
Me: (gesturing wildly with the tube) Make old caulk go away?
After trying unsuccessfully to sell me some paint thinner, I left the shop feeling dejected and kind of grossed out.
Since I was unable to purchase any caulk softener, I just jabbed at the old caulk with a flat head screwdriver for a while. Most of it crumbled and fell off. I bleached the crap out of everything else, let it dry and caulked right over it.
Looks pretty good, if I do say so myself. I did wind up with way more caulk than I could use (or handle) but other than that, I’d say this project was a success. We’ll see if I’m right tomorrow after it dries.
Meanwhile, as I was rocking out with my caulk out, I was listening to a fantastic podcast called Uhh Yeah Dude. A friend turned me on to it a few weeks ago and now I’m totally hooked.
UYD is a weekly comedy podcast on iTunes hosted by Seth Romatelli and Jonathan Larroquette (yes, John Larroquette’s son). It’s basically two friends, sitting in a living room, having a conversation about anything and everything.
Popular segments include:
*Seth reads m4m personal ads from Craigslist.
*Jonathan responds to the Chicago Tribune’s ‘Go ask Amy’ advice column.
*Who’s Mommin’ Harder? – An ode to some of America’s best moms. (This segment appears much more often in the earlier days of the show, which is a shame cause it’s awesome.)
*The real/fake game – particularly popular at UYD live shows, this segment involves Seth reading the name of a real thing (like a micro brew or a horse running in the Kentucky Derby), a strain of medical marijuana sold in Hollywood and a random word or phrase from his ‘mind’s eye.’ Jonathan has to decide which is which. They both take it very seriously and it’s hilarious.
*Celebrity Death Match – Seth and Jonathan hypothetically throw two celebs into a jail cell and predict which one will come out alive.
*Country Song of the Week – Seth reads the lyrics to some of America’s most unique country songs.
*Hip-Hop Song of the Week – Jonathan promotes the work of promising up-and-coming American hip-hop artists and rappers.
*Cancelled TV Shows – Seth takes a walk down memory lane and reminisces about some short-lived American television series.
*Recalls from China – Jonathan helpfully makes us aware of the many ways in which the Chinese are trying to kill us.
Sometimes they sing too.
Every episode begins and ends with music. Don’t let that deter you. They (though I suspect that Jonathan is the one behind the musical selections) have a very eclectic taste. For instance, the opening song for the first episode I ever heard was a hardcore rap tune. N-words everywhere. Just go with it. Trust. It’ll be worth it.
Though I should say, if you have a problem with offensive language, recreational drug use or child molester jokes – this is not the podcast for you. For everyone else, go there now and join the conversation with Seth and Jonathan. See ‘America through the eyes of two American Americans’ who have been ‘saving America from herself since February 2006.’ You can thank me later.