I’m pretty sure there’s a Pterodactyl outside my window…

…or maybe it’s just a really big crow.  Or some other winged, possibly feathered creature that sounds an awful lot like what I think a pterodactyl probably sounded like…you know, before Jesus killed all the dinosaurs.

Whatever it is, it’s REALLY LOUD  (hence the yelly caps) and wakes me up every morning around 5:30.

Day 1:  6:02am – Wow!  It’s so amazing to be at the Cape where I get to sleep someplace cool and quiet and wake up to the sound of birds chirping.  This sure beats having to listen to those Dominican chain-smokers back home who like to congregate directly beneath my window and scream at each other til 4am.  Life is awesome!

Day 2: 5:48am – Up early two days in a row?  I am on fire!  Thank you, you little chirpy alarm clock, you!

Day 3: 5:57am – Another gorgeous day!  The sun is out, the birds are singing merrily…one bird seems to be a little more zealous than the rest, but good for him!  Sing on my friend, sing on!

Day 4: [Wakes very abruptly from a delightful dream due to chirping.]  5:32am – Okay…this, this is early.  That’s alright.  No, it’s good.  Getting up at the ass crack of dawn is a good thing.  A nice early start to the day.  Love that.  Gonna get lots more done today cause I’m up so early and stuff.  Yeah…

Day 5: [Thunderstorm the night before and it’s still pouring buckets outside.]  8:30am – Boy, do I feel well-rested!  I’m gonna get right out of this bed and be productive!  Life is awesome!  Yay!

Day 6: 5:36am – Aaaaaaand we’re back to this again.

Day 7: 5:42am – Those are NOT normal bird sounds.

Day 8:  5:47am – Okay, seriously?  What the hell is that?  It sounds like someone is slaughtering a pig out there.  Can birds even make that sound?

Day 9:  5:37am – Sweet creepin’ Jesus enough with the birds already!  Those little fuckers are louder than the Mexicans parading down Broadway on the Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe.  And the birds don’t have the benefit of an amplified karaoke machine blaring out of the back of a low-rider 1987 Toyota pick-up… [I am grudgingly impressed.]

Day 10: 5:40am – I now know why guns were invented.

Day 11: 5:39am – Have you ever heard an old drunk lady singing Tammy Wynette’s ‘Stand By Your Man’ a half step flat at the top of her voice in Spanish at 3am?  Cause I have. I live directly above a Mexican restaurant that does karaoke a couple of nights a week.  It’s…an experience. Anyway, I’m starting to think I prefer that to the ungodly sounds coming out of this bird’s throat.  Do bird’s have throats?  Cause if they do, I want to strangle this one.

Day 12: 5:14am – SQUAWK! SQUAWK!  GET YOUR ASS OUT OF BED!  IT’S NOT LIKE YOU HAVE TO SING AN OPERA IN 15 HOURS OR ANYTHING!  SQUAWK! Oh you have got to be kidding me.  [I actually launch myself out of bed to try to see what the hell this alleged ‘bird’ looks like.  All I can see is a large, dark shadow.  Naturally, I assume it’s a dinosaur.]

I’ve got to blog about this…

7 thoughts on “I’m pretty sure there’s a Pterodactyl outside my window…

  1. Haha, aw. I’m not laughing AT you…I’m laughing….with you? Are you laughing anymore? If you can remember back to when you laughed, do so, so that we can have good chuckle together.

    I actually just had a similar experience in St. Lucia. There were these invisible bugs (presumably some kind of caribbean cricket) that we called the “Philip Glass bugs.” They could only sing three notes…but boy did they! Over, and over, and over…with slight pattern variations. It was insidious. I found myself singing the weird song all day, and then listening all…night…long.

  2. This is your funniest blog yet! I almost pissed myself laughing. Have you ever thought of writing comedy sketches for a commedienne? Definitely give it some thought.

  3. Ok, heard a horrible noise sounds the same as yours but your log is so funny to read,,, you have anymore? Have you a blog about it?

  4. Thanks for the laugh. We have been hearing a sound like the movies make pterodactyls sound, and I was looking for what it might be online, and thats how I ended up here. Glad I did. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s