Look how handy I am!

This air conditioner is insulated with 100% old tube socks and duct tape. It was missing those little wing dealies on the sides so I improvised.  Works great though. Let the coolness begin!

[Note (that I added after finishing the rest of the post): I was going to end this post here, but then I started reminiscing about my first second car* that was also held together largely with duct tape so I’m going to tell that story now.  Of course that story is actually a story, rather than just a picture of an air conditioner so it’s considerably longer than my original post and you don’t have to read it if you don’t want to. Except you should, because it will probably be awesome.  Probably.]

[*My first car was a Buick something-or-other that blew up on the Mass Pike the day after I bought it.  Seriously.  I would’ve tweeted about it, but we didn’t have Twitter back then so I couldn’t.  I probably should’ve known that car was going to be a fiery, smoking lemon though because I bought it from a guy whose company was called Yenom Motors. It wasn’t even a real dealership.  There was no car lot or anything. This dude brought the car to my house.  Apparently it was the only one he was selling at the time. Cause that’s not weird or anything. Also, Y-E-N-O-M Motors is M-O-N-E-Y spelled backwards.  Thankfully, I got all of mine back and, with a small loan from mom and dad (which I am totally going to pay back someday!) I bought a much better car from a legit dealership that had an actual store front and everything.]

[I just learned that I’ve been using brackets wrong for a really long time, but I like the way they look and infinitely prefer them to parenthesis, so I’m going to keep using them willy-nilly whenever I feel like it.  Deal.]

This is where a transition sentence goes to help make the start of the next paragraph less awkward.

You know, that duct taped a/c may be the most ghetto-tastic thing I’ve had to do since my old ’95 Ford Taurus aka ‘The Tank’ died in a flaming blaze of glory on route 84 West in Hartford back in 2007.

The Tank was such a great car. I bought it for something like $4,000 back in 2001 and it was in fantastic condition. It had all the bells and whistles – automatic everything, a radio, a car phone…remember car phones?

Then I drove it for a while and because I don’t have the best car-ma, it got progressively less nice over the years.  For instance, the back bumper was held together with duct tape after getting hit by a shuttle bus in a parking lot…

The front end was already smashed up a little bit from another previous accident, so the headlights and front bumper were scavenged from a junk yard and attached to my car with zip ties…

…and those zip ties totally withstood a devastating highway crash. So that’s pretty awesome.  Someone should tell Detroit to start using zip ties in the manufacturing process.

Other funny things about that car:

– One of my gear-head friends helped me with the junk yard scavenging and re-attaching of the headlights, but we couldn’t get them to sit evenly, so every time it rained they would fill up with water and short out the light bulbs. Rather than replace the headlights, I just drilled little holes in the bottom of the plastic so the water would drain through and it totally worked! Because I’m a genius with cars.

– The lock on the driver’s side door was broken, but only on the outside. So I had to unlock the passenger side door and use the automatic lock on the inside of the door, then walk around or climb through to the driver’s side.  I did that for almost five years.

– If you lowered the driver’s side window all the way, it wouldn’t come back up without pulling it with pliers while simultaneously pushing the automatic window button. So whenever you wanted to open the window you had to make sure to stop with two or three inches to spare or you were effed.  Especially in the rain. Or winter.  Or if you wanted to park anywhere in Hartford.

– The rear view mirror would spontaneously fall off from time to time.

– There were no hub caps on the Tank for the last few years and I have no idea where they went.

– There was only one working key to the ignition. Copied keys did not work. My one key was sort of bent and if the bend didn’t go the right way the car wouldn’t start.

– Aside from oil changes, the time my battery died as I was driving down the highway, and the one time I needed to get the serpentine belt replaced, I don’t think I ever took that car into the shop – for anything. Meaning, I never had the brakes done or put decent tires on that thing. I was basically driving a rusty, zip-tiedy, duct tapey deathtrap.

For over two hundred thousand miles.

3 thoughts on “Look how handy I am!

  1. Pingback: It must be ‘Fleece the Tourists’ season on the Cape… « FrivolityOnTheEdge

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