The dark side of juicing…

Ugh. Today was the worst. For the first time this week I REALLY missed food. Physically I felt okay, if a little empty, and I sang well in rehearsal, but mentally it was not so great. I couldn’t stop thinking about all the things I wanted to eat…pizza, grilled cheese, steak, potato chips…I was ready to shank one of my cast members for his ham and cheese sandwich at lunch this afternoon. Ooh, and this:

[Makes Homer Simpson-esque salivating sounds.]

So…now it’s Friday night, but I feel like I can’t go out because food is everywhere and I’m afraid I’ll cave in and eat some. I can’t even leave my apartment without having to walk pass a Mexican place, my crepe and waffle mecca (Plick’s), a great little pizza shop, a Halal street meat cart, a Subway and a McDonald’s. The last two don’t bother me so much because I’m totally over Subway now that I have easy access to real NY delis, and because the McDonald’s in my neighborhood is officially the worst in all of America, thereby forcing me to switch my allegiance to Burger King (even though it means walking an extra block AND having to cross Broadway.) I’m starting to wonder if I’ll be able to make it six days, never mind ten.

While I’m in such a stellar mood and in the interest of full disclosure, I thought I’d take this opportunity to highlight the crappier parts of the juicing experience.

Since I started this whole fast thing, I’ve spent a lot of time on health-related websites offering recipes, tips and inspirational personal accounts….and I’m starting to notice a trend. On almost all of these websites they show pictures of either 1) a self-satisfied blonde woman drinking juice from her state of the art juicer in her gleaming white kitchen; 2) an athletic and attractive black man quenching his thirst with some juice after a workout, usually involving a basketball; 3) or an ethnically ambiguous dark-haired female doing yoga.

And of course, plenty of pictures of perfectly prepared and beautifully blended juices like this:

And this:

Here’s what they don’t show you:

That’s right. That’s a giant bag of fruit and vegetable pulp. I’m sick of hearing about how easy juicing is and how much time you’ll save by not having to prepare full meals. Bullsh. I feel like I’ve spent half my life this week shopping for, washing, peeling, chopping, juicing and disposing of dried out veggie parts.

And let’s not forget about the copious amounts of clean-up time:

The other unfortunate aspects of this experiment, besides the obvious not eating have included:

-Headache

-Irritability

-My skin is freaking out

-I had to cancel a cinco de mayo brunch I was supposed to go to because I can’t bear the thought of being in the presence of margaritas and fish tacos without eating them (I’m guessing at least five of you are chuckling to yourselves right about now – get your minds out of the gutter!)

Also, my roommate made microwave popcorn earlier and the apartment still smells like temptation, so now on top of everything else, I’ve got to go make plans to kill her in her sleep. Sigh.

Here’s hoping for a better tomorrow. Night…

One thought on “The dark side of juicing…

  1. Pingback: Juicetastic – Part Deux « Frivolity On The Edge

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