Hey y’all!

I started an impromptu juice fast yesterday! And I’m kind of excited about it, hence the exclamation point. The idea of not eating at all (you know, fasting) is still weirding me out a little, but so far I feel pretty great. This has been a lot easier than my experiment with Unsweetened earlier in the year. For one thing, I don’t have to be nearly as creative. I’m generally a creative person, but not when it comes to food. Trying to feed myself after eliminating all sugar and processed foods from my diet made me feel like a fish out of water. This is much more straight forward. Buy veggies. Put veggies in loud, scary machine until juice magically comes out the other side. Drink juice. Repeat.

Apparently, there were several things I was supposed to have done in order to prepare for said juice fast, like consult with a physician, eat only raw vegetables for a week, get an enema (whatever that is, but it sounds disgusting), gather lots of delicious juicy recipes and go grocery shopping.

I did almost none of those things.

I mean, if I was the sort of person who was able to just eat raw vegetables, why would I need a juice fast in the first place? So rather than give any thought to the timing or advisability of juice fasting, I simply saw some Australian guy with an awesome accent doing it on tv and said (through a mouthful of double bacon cheeseburger from Burger King), “Cool! I want a juicer!” Then I spent about five minutes on the interwebs learning about the different types of juicers on the market.

First you’ve got your giant, bad ass, masticating juicers that can pretty much eat and wring the juice out of anything (whole apples, wheat grass, large cacti, small animals, etc…) and then there’s the traditional spinning-blade-coupled-with-some-sort-of-centrifugal-force-type-mechanism variety. Since masticating juicers are tres ‘spensive and there was only one juicer available on the Manhattan Craigslist that day, I bought this one.

Here are some things that I wish I had known before I started:

-This sh*t ain’t cheap! I spent $40 dollars on my lovely used juicer which isn’t bad at all, but I figure these vegetables are going to cost me about $18-$20 a day. That may not sound like much to feed an adult, but on a normal day I only spend half that! Breakfast – $0 (cause I usually sleep through it). Lunch – $2 for a single slice at Olga’s Pizza. Dinner – $2.18 for a BK single stack and a small side of onion rings. Plus my $5 after dinner waffle.

[By the way, I hope this puts an end to any potential ‘Why are you doing this?’ questions.]

-According to my WordPress stat counter, a vast majority of my readers are Americans who, like me, are probably made up almost entirely of toxic chemicals. (I’d like to take a moment and give a shout out to the seven readers I have in Scandinavia. I have no idea how you found my blog, but I’m delighted that you’re here!) Anyway, if your body is full of toxins it can react in some bizarre ways when it is suddenly inundated with all those nutrients. Suffice it to say, the detoxification process started in a big way shortly after consuming my first juice. Like 20 minutes later. I really wish I had known that before leaving for my voice lesson yesterday afternoon. I’m guessing that my voice teacher probably wishes that too.

-Adding enough red grapes can make almost anything taste good.

-There is such a thing as too much ginger. You may see the relatively small juice output that comes from adding only an inch or so of ginger and be tempted to add more. Don’t do it! It’s enough. I promise, it’s enough.

-How to put this delicately? Going to the bathroom is going to become a lot more…colorful. Yeah.

I’ve only had five juices thus far so I’m sure I’ll post more tips as I go. My goal is to juice for ten days, with a check-in on day six or seven to make sure I’m still alive. I was going to post exact recipes and keep a daily log of what I’m *not* eating, but that was kind of tedious last time and I start rehearsals for my next gig tonight. I dunno. Is anyone interested in what I’m putting in these weird concoctions?

Let me know.

Okay, gotta go. Here’s hoping I don’t pass out at rehearsal!


One thought on “Juice-tastic!

  1. Pingback: Juicetastic – Part Deux « Frivolity On The Edge

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